Komodo Dragons Freak Bill Burr Out!

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    Taken from JRE #1348 w/Bill Burr: https://youtu.be/--SCDa1zsYI


    the Joe Rogan experience shut my phone up I can show I found this picture on Instagram of this tiger and the fucking thing is what looked like its legs but it looks like it's doing dips the list of fucking muscles it doesn't even look real like like like that thing exists on this planet and was just like was just walking around free that you could just bump into it I understand you know like when people first came out here and they eradicated that's along the lines of it I mean look at that how many pull-ups Joe do you need to do to fucking look like that fuck oh my god look at the fucking muscles you must have seen that one do you ever see that one where they were fucking with that tiger and that dude was on the elephant yeah and this thing took off like Jordan in the dunking contest and just and every time he did it reached its apex it kept going up like fucking Zion there on Duke yeah and it barely grazed the guy's arm when it clawed him toward park yeah yeah the guy like he had nerve damage and his fucking arm didn't work oh yeah for sure yeah I mean there's a great video recent video like two weeks ago of these guys on a motorcycle in India and the riders chasing them and the tiger almost get some it's full clip chasing I actually looked how fast they can run and I'm surprised because the guy was on like a scooter or something they can go like 40 miles an hour I think what fucked him up was this surface that he started out riding on right if he was more in his element they get like a dog in a kitchen gets a little fucking on the concrete right yeah yeah well maybe just the sound of the engine was just like that doesn't sound tasty well it's one of the where rare places on earth where Tigers hunt people there's there's a history of them hunting people they hunt or they come upon another alley you know they hunt them there's an area called the Sunderbans and the Sunderbans Tigers over the last 200 years have killed more than 300,000 people there they actively you know people believe it or not it's a quick death oh yeah I already know what I would ever do if I ever came in contact with the tiger just do this that's exactly what I would do given the neck and make some defensive move like our offensive moves just to get it go right towards it oh there's just like the you UFC guys are all like I would rather get fucking choked out then knocked out it's the same thing you just go to sleep yeah you just sleep I mean it probably hurts for a second and then it's over oh this hurts for a second then as you start to go I think the last thing that's as bad as the smell of the tiger all the breath the breath big day me rotten meat breath oh just affect they don't really bathe do I swim don't they delegate swim fast this is how fast you smell amazing did you see those two poor women who they were gonna take a fucking hike through the rain forest and decided to go themselves gone what happened they found their clothes where was this which rainforest I I don't know so that was right in your app right up your fucking alley isn't - I was surprised it wasn't on your Instagram like that's that's like that's a Rogen shit right there that's a bummer man and people get confused and they don't understand you you're a moving thing and you don't move quick and there they're all about eating moving things if you're moving they're trying to eat you if you if you're by yourself they're gonna eat well it's amazing that wherever we started on this planet that our brain was able to cover for the fact of how fucking slow we are we're slower than squirrels like everything everything is lightning fast out there except sloths sloths I know but they did like and that but that's their job to get eaten yeah yeah like jalapeno poppers yeah bullshit that you just order you want to go safe okay let's get that yeah yeah yeah this is what you go after the real thing you're trying to eat one of my favorite videos was watching harpy eagles kill sloths they swoop in and snatch them they're like the largest Eagles in South America she did a zipline tour in Costa Rica yeah and the guy knew how to make the noise of the this this fucking ridiculous wingspan bird that really exist in that area anymore but they just in their DNA for them to freak out he goes it's three toed sloth and he imitated it and the fucking thing just just kind of looked around a little bit it's like dude you just gave that thing a mini fucking heart attack we did a zipline that was one mile you get on it you you zip across for one more Azzam sliding on this thing with my family by the way I'm thinking well the last time they check this who's checking this was a great thoughts the fucking ladder was rusted and then lat ratchet bolted so they had like straps where they ratcheted where the ladder had rusted and then they just grabbed a hold of strap and like clamped down on it and fucking tree and we're climbing up this and it's like a little watch out there that parts rusted through like what that's rusted through and then you get to the top and they latch you up to this thing and I'm telling you you're above the rain forest and it's just yeah and you go for like fucking ten minutes just don't understand how high those two we were just in the bullshit we were just in the very tippity-top of even Costa Rica so we weren't like in the shit and I just remember like the thing where we were doing you know the little I guess platform that you went up to was so fucking high off the ground and it was a third up the tree yeah like when we were looking up at the three toed sloth that was over there it was like another four five hundred feet it seemed it was ridiculous fucking ridiculous you know nature man nature man there's a fucking great story recently of a guy he's a musician and he was recording sounds of nature and he fell asleep and a bear ate him so it's recording of him getting eaten while he's recording sounds of danger bears seem like it's a long death oh yeah they just eat you they just hold you down like a salmon and start chewing chunks oh oh yeah they do yeah that because they're omnivores I'm divorces the worst thing to get killed by you better off getting killed by a predator because predators generally just want to kill you and kill you as quick as they can but bears first of all there are no predators other than other bears and humans with rifles and if they're a place where there's no humans with rifles to the top of the food chain so they just put a paw down on you so they hold you in place and just start chewing chunks of you just eating chunks of you off the video the Grizzles in my special tonight at midnight on Netflix do you know what my brother called me up one time I I called him after he had watched some video and it was one of those Komodo dragons and it somehow grabbed like a deer looking thing whatever the fuck is in its world that's like that and it I'm sorry people but it snapped its fucking leg and he said the thing was laying there and it couldn't move and it would just started eating the things guts and the deers sound of I don't watch any of that I don't want the execution videos I don't want that on my harddrive mmm I'm gonna bomb tonight watching that how do you find it that quick Jesus Christ this guy's good he's got him saved yeah there's a great one of a komodo dragon eating a monkey and it's got like look at it might be a baboon it's a baboons are no joke I never knew when they fucking iyanya like oh shit that's like a tiger monkey it's like a dog monkey that's what it's like it's like I get to those Fang wolf raisa like a wolf monkey yeah they eat kids somebody's got a new band name that wolf monkey monkey there's a great video of this komodo dragon he's got this monkey's feet and tail hanging out of his mouth he's doing just slowly choking this thing down eating this entire monkey whole loot and the tail and a little little feet are poking out as I call see if you find that show it the bill no I don't wanna see don't worry I put it on that one so I don't I don't want to you
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