EVERY GAS STATION EVER

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    Disinterested employees, questionable food options, and sketchy bathrooms—OH MY! This is EVERY GAS STATION EVER.

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    CAST
    Shayne Topp (@supershayne)
    Olivia Sui (@oliviasui)
    Courtney Miller (@co_mill)
    Noah Grossman (@noahgrossman214)
    Keith Leak Jr. (@keithleakjr)
    Damien Haas (@damienhaas)

    CREW
    Director: Ryan Todd
    Writers: Monica Vasandani & Ryan Finnerty
    Production Manager: Margo McHugh
    1st AD: David Gutel
    PA: Jacqi Jones
    DP: Mitch Anderson
    Cam Op: Brennan Iketani
    DIT: Matt Duran
    Art Director/Costumes: Steven Cirocco
    Set Decorator: Tayler Nicholson
    Props/Stage Coord: Yasmeen Mughal
    Community Manager: Cece Wrenn
    Content Manager: Kiana Parker
    It/Equipment Manager: Tim Baker
    Executive Assistant: Nancy Azcona
    Smosh Sketch Editor: Mike Small
    GFX: Brittany Metz
    Executive Producer: Ryan Todd
    Wardrobe : Meredeth Peebles
    Script Supervisor: Eddie Vigil V
    Sound: Greg Jones
    Gaffer: Billy Yates
    Key Grip: Nick Giomuso
    Grip: Angelique A. Costanza
    Make-up: Rachel Jenkins
    Make-up: Brooke Darwin
    Buyer: Natalia Brito
    Carpenter: Phil Huertas

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    Published


    Alright. Isn't the gas tank on the other side? No. *girlfriend sighs* OLIVIA: Maybe you should just turn around? BOYFRIEND: Uhm... No, I got it. *imitates gas guzzling* You're not pumping any gas... No, I am, babe. No, you're making sounds with your mouth. That's crazy. *imitates gas guzzling* Uh... there, done! See, we're good. *engine whines* *engine whines* Every Gas Station Ever. Okay, ten, come on ten. Come on, ten! AH! Dang it! Alright, I can go for 20. Alright, let's go, let's go. UGH! COME ON! HOO! Oh, let's go. *groans* F*CK! COME ON! THAT'S THE MONEY SHOT! AW, MAN! *handle clinks* NO! UGH, COME ON! Aaaannd... Oh, nice. *gas trickles* Nice. *sniffs* Oh, I love the smell of gas stations. *door chimes* Hey, do you have a bathroom I can use? Well, alright. *urine trickles* What are you doing? That's the key! Oh, this toilet's like a big key chain. Oh, that's cute. Well I can't stop now, can I? You know, I'm already peein'. *excrement falls down* OOOH! I see it come out the back, leaking on-- SHAYNE: Yeah, 'cause this doesn't, this isn't attached to any plumbling, is it? Do they ever change the squeegee water? Yeah, so I'm grabbing coffee now and then I'm headed to the meeting. *coffee sizzles* SH*T! Sorry, nothing, gotta go. Hey, do you guys sell clothes here? *attendant sighs* Yeah, over there. Thank you! Good morning, sirs! *dramatic rock music* You wanted to talk to me about the HR complaints against me? Also, does everyone needed any dick pills? They're very cheap! Sorry, I'm late. You too, huh? Me too, what? Do I wanna car wash? PFFT, No! Hi, can I get a Dragon Shart Energy Drink, please? *attendant sighs* Oh sorry, can I get the Tropical Space Orgy flavor? *attendant sighs* And sugar-free, if you could? *attendant sighs* DAMIEN: Yeah. Oh, how do we? Can I just go around real quick, or what? Oh, yeah. Okay. Oh, you're gonna... *energy drink glugs* *straw slurps* ATTENDANT: That'll be $3.69. *straw slurps* *change rattles* Do you have like a napkin? We're closed now. Aw, man... There's a dead body in the bathroom. Weird, there was two earlier. I always worry about the quality of gas at these weird off-brand gas stations. *boyfriend sighs* It'll be fine, babe. 63 octane, isn't that really low? Isn't it 87 regular? *boyfriend sighs* The numbers don't matter. Okay, it's all just a scam. Alright, whatever you say! Alright! See, totally fine. *car rumbles* *car explodes* We're like 'AMBM', am I right? OH, SH*TS, SH*TS DUDE! God, come on! Come on big B, give it to me. Don't disappoint mama. Oh, come, a winner, a winner. Oh my God, yes! I won three free scratchers! SCRATCH, SCRATCH, BABY! COME ON! OLIVIA: Ugh, I'm already late to work. Man, tell me about it. SOME PEOPLE GOT THINGS TO DO! You've gotta be kidding me. DANG IT! Okay fine, I'm done Mr. "Important person has places to be!", bleh! Oh my God... Some people are so inconsiderate, you know? The nerve on that one. Yo, I'll take 40 scratchers, please? OLIVIA: We should just turn the car around. No, babe! That'd be crazy. Where's the pump? I've got it. SHAYNE: I'm gonna do this. AAAHHH. Neither of you work here. Yes, we do. - Oh, not anymore. - Uh-uh. - *in unison* OOOOH... DAMIEN: You're fired. Go. Leave the pills. - Oh, now why would I do that? - Why we would be leaving the pills?-- Call security. HOLD ON, WHA-WHAT?! *laughs* Ooh, that's a wicked toosiee right there. SHAYNE: OOH, GROWLER! AHH! SNAKES. SHAYNE: HOOO! That's a muscle boy right there. That is a whole muscle boy. That is the leaning tower of sh*t! *laughs*
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